Speed Marriage... you can't keep up with a Kardashian

It looked real to everyone, including the groom apparently, but Kim Kardashian had other things in mind. So how does someone file for divorce within 72 days?

Let’s look back in history. Kim’s first marriage (yes, Kris is her second husband) to music producer Damon Thomas, lasted less than four years. Ok, we can accept that in four years things can go wrong. But, her second marriage to Kris Humphries was shorter than Taylor Swift's speech before Kanye took the microphone (thanks Twitter... and you should all be thanking me for not telling you what Wil Anderson thought was longer than Kim’s marriage).

Kim has said “I had hoped this marriage was forever but sometimes things don't work out as planned”. Apparently, Kim doesn’t want to live where Kris lives, in Minnesota. Just thinking maybe that’s a conversation you would have before the $20 million wedding? But I’m a stickler for the details. Kim says it was not an easy decision. Huh? Some people spend more than 72 days deciding whether to cut their hair. In fact, I know one guy who’s had the same hairstyle since 1982. Now that’s commitment.

So, now the questions... 

How long will the mourning period be? Experts say that for every year you’re together, you mourn post relationship for 6 weeks. So for a marriage that lasts less than three months, it seems just over a week will be plenty. If we’re generous, we could say they met 10 months ago, so that would make the mourning period around 5 weeks. But my money’s on the one week scenario.

Will she give back the bling? The monster accessory reportedly cost $2 million. Given she’s worth about four times what he’s worth, and she’s the one filing for divorce within a millisecond, she should pop it in the mail to him, registered post of course.

And finally, who’s next? There have been a few entertainers and a long string of footballers in Kim’s past. However, she might have done her dash in the sporting arena for now. Even the dumbest footballer isn’t going to fork out for the type of bling that will catch Kim Kardashian’s eye, knowing he might never see it again. She needs someone who will blindly idolise her. I'm thinking a network executive, or a plastic surgeon. But given she’s supposed to make an appearance at the Spring Racing Carnival in Melbourne this week, my money’s on our very own ‘Idol’ Milsy (thanks Starsh).

☺

Kim x